the littlest carscadden: 7 Months: We are in so much trouble

Today, at Target, Lucas and I were staring at the baby food. We had coupons to use, which meant we had to buy 10 items of one brand and $10 worth of another brand. We hemmed, we hawed. Peaches? Green beans? Yogurt and corn? We finally made our minds up, turned, and saw Miles standing in the seat of the shopping cart. Oh yeah... the baby. We are in so much trouble.

As I'm sure is true for most babies, Miles learns a skill and perfects it rather quickly. Standing is no problem, now. He can stand up against walls, pull himself up on nearly any surface within reach, bounce while standing, hold on with just one hand while standing, and lean down and pick something up with one hand while standing. He even has been practicing letting go and balancing. He's starting to cruise - move around the room while holding on to things with one hand. And just yesterday, he got really interested in stairs and tried to throw himself down them - head first. We are in so much trouble.

My milk supply took a nose dive over the holiday weekend last week. I barely pumped at all and all those ounces in the fridge disappeared quickly. Now, I'm desperately trying to catch up, the guilt of not feeding my child breast milk nipping at my heels. It may be time to stop, as pumping 6-8 times a day feels like a job in itself. But when I think about stopping, I get teary eyed, as so much of how I feel as mother rests on my ability to feed my child. And right now, my milk is not even enough. So to give it up completely feels like a failure, a failure that looms over me, and weighs heavily in my chest. With the extra calories Miles is getting with the formula, he's putting on weight and muscle. He loves to flail during diaper and clothing changes. Lucas has compared diapering Miles to diapering a chimpanzee. I think it would probably be easier to diaper the chimpanzee. We are in so much trouble.

Miles is also getting a little better about eating. But eating is SO messy. And our kid has determined that he will only eat if he's in control of the food. Pureed carrot - oh yeah, that's all over the bib and the high chair, his face and his hands. It's even on his clothes under the bib and all over his sleeves. We are in so much trouble.

Here's our little trouble maker this week: