the littlest carscadden: 17 Months!

Miles had his endoscopy and all the results came back normal. We also met with the pediatrician again and we have a plan going forward in the future for Miles and his growth and development.

This last month has been particularly difficult for me in dealing with Miles' lack of growth. I was torn while we were waiting for the endoscopy results because I wanted Miles to be normal, but I also would have liked an explanation for his lack of growth. If we had an explanation, we could have at least worked with that and helped him to eat more. When the results came back normal I was initially pretty happy but then completely heartbroken because it leaves us where we are. And recently I've felt like where we are is nowhere. With no improvement. With all the changes we've made in his diet, we haven't seen any appreciable growth. So I had a rough week where I was crying. A lot. After meeting with the pediatrician though, I feel like we have a solid plan moving forward. We've got some upcoming doctors' appointments and we're going to get Miles in a feeding clinic.

All that said, I'd like to stop concentrating on this issue here. My whole entire life feels like it circles around how much he's eating or how much he weighs, how he swims in his 12 month sized clothing and how we have a closet full of gifts of 18 month sized clothing that it seems like he'll never fit in. Anyway, I kind of made an agreement with myself to stop dwelling on it. I've decided to not talk about his size in public, to not discuss calories with Lucas in front of other people. Because I would like to start focusing on the positive.

Miles is a joy. He runs around all day. He's adding words all over the place. He has an opinion. He wants you to know his opinion because it usually involves his desire to go outside. Willingly, without prompting, he shares with other kids. He's working on learning to jump. He colors, with sidewalk chalk and crayons. He still listens pretty well. We're so happy to be a little family.