Dear Miles,

 I think it’s clear that these letters are as much about me evolving in my role as your mother as they are about you developing into a truer version of yourself. 

On the eve of the eve of your birthday this year you ran away.  Not because you were sad or because you were scared or angry. Not because you wanted to leave your family. Not because we had a fight.

You ran away because you had an impulse to. Because you had an urge to. Because you wanted to see your best friend Charlie. Because you knew how to get to his house on your own. Because you wanted to see if you could do it. By yourself. 

I realized I lost you about 10 minutes after you snuck away. I knew where you went because you told me you wanted to do it earlier in the evening. We had reviewed the outcomes of you slipping away unannounced - the distress it would cause me, the consequences you would face, the possibilities of unforeseen danger.

As I drove up to your best friend’s house, my phone rang - it was his mother letting me know that you were there. I felt embarrassed and upset. And relieved. 

You were surprised that I was mad because I wasn’t yelling. And you learned that choices have consequences. This choices/consequences lesson is a prominent one in our lives right now.

But, if I’m honest, in addition to feeling embarrassment and distress, I’m also impressed by your initiative and independence. We wanted to raise a kid who questioned rules. We wanted a kid who trusts himself. We wanted a kid who is incessantly curious about the world, who looks for evidence, who pushes boundaries. You do those things. Sometimes you could make better choices. But also, sometimes I could make better choices too.

I find it challenging to parent you but I find it effortless to love you. 

To many more years of choices and their consequences (good and bad)! Happy 10th birthday!

Love, Mom